Rachel's Splendid Idea

          "I just had to tell you this.  Yesterday, Rachel and I were playing cards, Skipbo, our version, where, if she names the number on the card, she gets to put the card in her stack; if she misses, I get to keep the card. 

          She had a huge stack, all the cards except some of the 6's and 9's, which are just alike, except upside-down.  When we finished playing, she took her stack of cards and spread them on the floor. 

          "I had just picked up the cards she left on the floor the day before; so I told her, 'Now, you will need to pick up the cards.' She began sliding across the cards.  I told her, 'Don't step on the cards.  You'll bend them.' 

          "She said, 'I am ice skating.'  She got more cards, spreading them over the floor. 

          "As she spread the cards, I reminded her again, 'You will have to pick up all the cards.'  She put on her little, imaginary skates and proceeded to skate on the cards. 

          "When she became bored with the cards and began to play another game, I said, 'In five minutes, you have to pick up the cards.'  She went on playing.  About ten minutes later, I said, 'It is now time to pick up the cards.' 

          "Rachel replied, 'I need to have a tea party.'" 

          Grandmother yelped, "She needed a tea party?" 

          Rachel's mommy laughed, "She needed a tea party," elongating the word, "needed," until it almost sang.  "I told her, 'We can have a tea party when you have picked up the cards.' 

          "When she didn't pick up the cards, I said, 'We are going to turn off 'Barney' until you have finished picking up the cards.'  I crossed to the television and punched the power button.  This produced no results other than a sad, little voice saying, 'I'm tired.'  I did not relent. 

          "Rachel took her little chair into the hall.  She sat down, leaned back in her chair and announced grandly, 'I have a splendid idea.  I will sit in my little chair while you pick up the cards!'" 

          Rachel's mommy laughed, repeating, "Splendid Idea," mimicking the flare with which Rachel had said the words. 

          Rachel's grandmother, joining in the laughter, could not resist repeating, "Splendid Idea," in the same lilting voice Rachel's mommy had used. 

          "'That is a good idea, but it is not going to happen,' I told her as I tried to hide my grin.  'You have to pick up the cards.'"  Rachel's grandmother was pretty sure that Rachel was well aware that she had said or done something that pleased her mommy. 

          "There were more delaying tactics, then nursing and sleep, that five o'clock thing that happens every day when she gets tired and needs a nap.  I picked up the cards while she slept.'" 

          "You picked up the cards?," the grandmother interjected, her voice ringing with mock horror. 

          "I thought about picking up some and leaving only a few or moving them aside, leaving them on the floor.  They were right in the traffic path, getting stepped on; I picked up all of them. 

          "Rachel was still asleep when her daddy got home.  I told him about, 'I have a splendid idea,' laughing. 

          "Later, when Rachel awoke, after the ritual of greeting daddy, she was sitting by her table, playing with her dishes, having a tea party.  I called from the kitchen doorway, 'Rachel, did you pick up the cards?'  There was a guilty start, then a double take, as she turned to look for the cards. 

          "She turned back to me and said simply, 'Yes,' returning calmly to her tea party." 

          Rachel's grandmother, who had been smiling and laughing through this whole story, said, "Oh, no, she won." 

          Rachel's mommy laughed delightedly,  "Oh, no.  She thinks she picked them up." 

          Yes, Rachel said that she picked up the cards; but, Mother to Mother, we all know, don't we, that this battle will be fought again.  I say this as I look at the dirty, abandoned socks in the middle of my floor.  I don't feel too self-righteous.  They are my socks.